Above the clouds the restraints fall away. Gravity seems less oppressive, and I can feel again the kind of air my lungs were meant to breathe, albeit this is actually the cabin-pressured airplane environment. I can see differently from here. I can feel same the freedom I experienced as a child, laying on my back looking up into the clouds.
I lean my head on my man’s shoulder and nestle into that familiar nook by his neck where I am home. His faint body fragrance wraps around my senses like a child’s security blanket, and I relax.
It’s been intense. While battling the classic pastor’s burnout, he was knocked out for a month by a severe flu. Then the hurricanes and the magnitude of need all around us in their aftermath. A wedding. A suicide. Before boarding this plane, both of us have really wrestled with the seemingly selfish decision to go ahead with our planned anniversary trip to Spain, knowing how much needs to done everywhere. Knowing how much our invaluable colleagues carry – How can we just skip out like this?
Resting against his chest, I feel a lightness there I have missed for longer than I can remember. Over coffee today, my dear friend reminded me of the many stories tucked away in that chest; his own complex experiences as well as those of the flock he pastors with more empathy than any of us grasp. Most of his responsibility is invisible to the human eye, and only those in similar shoes know the weight of aching to meet meet every need with tangible compassion, but being unable.
He knows he isn’t God.
He knows God is beautifully at work through His body, arousing action and esprit de corps within our community like never before. Such beauty in response to disaster. Stronger faith and deeper commitment, as together we move into the new normal of being shaken “that the things which cannot be shaken may remain.” (Hebrews 12:27)
All the people we love are in the best of hands. His heart and mind clothed in human skin.
So we feel the lift of eagles’ wings under us and the firm leading of His Spirit to take us higher, above the fray of the daily demands, to see from 30,000 feet the world He so loves. We pray to return with fresh perspective and passion to the call we gratefully embrace.